HI!!!BUDDIES.....we at bizguwahati(guwahati.8m.com),
have the wildest collection of sexy jokes,no censorship...just laugh online with the latest laugh volumes........!!!
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::)If you are still not satisfied with these go to 'bizguwahati' main for the nuttiest,naughtiest,sexy laughs!!
1] the G.I came home from a two-year overseas hitch and found his wife with a new baby,determined to locate the guilty party,he began to question her:
"was it my friend,john?"......"no"
"well,was it my friend,dick?"....."no"
"o.k I give up-which one of my friends was it?"
"look,"his wife snapped indignantly,"don't you think i've got friends of my own?"
2]the ardent honeymooning of her 80 year old groom was exhausting the young bride,during a momentary lull,while he was shaving,she sneaked out and staggered into a hotel coffee shop downstairs
"i don't get it"exclaimed her friend the waitress"here you are a teen bride,with an ancient huaband and you look a wreck,why?"
yelled the young bride,"the old goat double crossed me,he told me he saved up for 60 years-and i thought he was talking about his money!"
3]when an efficient secretary asked her boss for a raise in her salary,he rejected the case and said:
"your salary is already higher than the secretary's at the next desk..and she has five children,you know"
"excuse me"she countered,"i thought we got paid for what we produce here-not for what we produce in our own time"
4]the stingiest man we know of is the one who gave his little girl a coin not to eat any supper,who took the coin away from her while she was asleep,and then refused to give her any breakfast because she lost it.
5]a small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull tore his chain and made straight for the cow,..the boy was not at all afraid and continued his milking while workers nearby watched in horror.
the bull came rushing in,then stopped equally suddenly but within a few inches of the boy,then turned round,and walked away quietly.."weren't you afraid?"one of the workers asked the boy
"oh!,not at all"the boy replied colly,"i happened to know that this cow was his mother-in-law"
6]two brides-one american,the other french-were discussing love,"a frenchman is very suble when it comes to love"explained the french girl.."take my husband for instance,first he kisses my fingertips,..then he kisses my shoulder,then the back of my neck,...".."gosh"the american girl interrupted,"by that time an american husband is back from his honeymoon"
7]a man had four daughters whom he wanted to marry off,in front of him was a prospective suitor.."with this one"he said"i'll give a thousand dollars,she is little deaf"...the suitor turned her down,.."with this one"said the father,"i'll give you two thousand dollars,she is little dumb",the suitor turned her down also."well,with the third one,"said the father,"i'll pay three thousand dollars,she is having one eye"..the suitor did not approve that girl too..."and,with this one"said the father,"i'll give ten thousand dollars","why?"asked the suitor,"she's so beautiful".."oh!"replied the father,"she's little pregnant"
8]wealthy father(irascibly):"well young man,you wish to speak to me?out with the--quickly!do you want to marry my daughter or borrow my money?"
suitor(coolly):"i dont mind either-which do you prefer?"
9]Mr and Mrs das were known as the ideal couple-never a dispute or a harsh word between them,sharma asked how did it happen?
explained das,:"why its a very simple arrangement,in the morning she does what she wants,and in the afternoon i do what she wants!"
10]the boyfriend was being poetic and sentimental,:
"you are the sun shine of my life,with-out you,life is but a dreamy cloud.you alone reign in my heart like the cold wind in the winter......"
the girl said sarcastically:"is it a proposal or a weather report?"
11]a divorce case was being heard in court,the grieved husband told the judge:"i came home and there was my wife in the arms of a strange man"
"and what did she say when you suprised her?"asked the judge
"that's what hurts me most",said the indignant husband,"she turns and says,'well look who's here.Old blabber mouth!-now the whole neighbourhood will know"
12]"...and my husband is very absent minded"wailed the embrassed bride to the marraige councellor,"last night,while we were making love,the door bell rang;and without saying a word,he jumped up and answered it"
"you mean he just got up and left you lying there?"the incredulous councellor asked
"no,sir",she sobbed,"he took me with him!"
